“Instant Death!” SuperDan shouts. Nothing happens. He has no servants with him. Looking intently at his pointing finger, he mutters, “Darn! Must be broken again!”
“I suppose, but don’t you control the media?” Dwayne asks.
“Oh, no, I don’t control the media; I just tell them to say that,” SuperDan explains.
“But if you don’t control it, why would they obey you by saying you do?” Dwayne asks.
“Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne, you still don’t understand? This is the Caspian Empire; it’s not supposed to make sense,” SuperDan replies.
“Hot chocolate,” she answers.
“I didn’t order a hot chocolate. Dwayne, did you order a hot chocolate?” SuperDan asks.
“No,” Dwayne answers.
“We didn’t order any. Why did you bring me one? And I haven’t seen you here before, are you new?” SuperDan queries further.
“No, I’ve been working here since last year. You were mad with me and told me not to come back unless I brought you a hot chocolate,” she answers.
SuperDan thinks for a moment and says, “Oh, I think I remember you now, but why did it take you so long?”
“I couldn’t find any poison,” she answers.
“Why? What does poison have to do with anything?” SuperDan asks.
“Ronnie told me to poison you the next time you ordered a drink. At the time, I worked directly under Ronnie,” she answers.
“Ronnie? Was he the advisor I had catapulted into the ocean?” SuperDan asks.
“I believe so,” Dwayne answers.
“Yes, that’s him,” the servant answers.
“Do you have any more orders you haven’t fulfilled yet?’ SuperDan asks.
“No, that was the last one,” she answers.
“Okay, here’s one more order: Go away,” SuperDan says.
“Yes, sir,” she answers.
SuperDan starts to sip at his hot chocolate. “Hey, don’t drink that! It has poison in it,” Dwayne warns.
“Says who?” SuperDan demands.
“She just told us,” Dwayne replies.
“And you believed her? Anyone that would try to poison me can’t be trusted to tell the truth,” SuperDan responds, sipping at his chocolate again.
“I’m going to get hurt and sue you for every penny you’re worth,” the man declares.
“It would be your fault; you would never win,” SuperDan declares.
“No, this trampoline presented an attractive nuisance that lured me in here. You didn’t put in a proper fence,” the man replies.
“You can’t even see the trampoline from outside the property, and I have concrete walls with barbed wire across the top,” SuperDan complains.
“But those walls aren’t dynamite-proof,” the man announces smugly, still jumping up and down. Then he jumps off. “Ow!” he yells, holding both knees. “I fell off! I broke both legs! I’m suing!”
“You didn’t fall off; you jumped!” SuperDan declares.
“It’s your word against mine,” the man says.
“I have six witnesses,” SuperDan says, gesturing to Dwayne and the five servants accompanying him.
“You bribed them to say they were witnesses,” the man counters.
“No I didn’t. You have no proof,” SuperDan says.
“I’ll pay you all twenty Caspians to say that he bribed you,” the man says.
Dwayne and the servants cheer. “I can finally afford shoes!” one servant cries.
“I’ll pay you all forty Caspians to say I didn’t bribe you!” SuperDan says. All the servants cheer again.
“Aha! I have that one tape!” the man says, holding a microphone and jumping on the trampoline again.
“Hey! I thought your legs were broken,” SuperDan growls.
Time To See A Lawyer
“Fifty-five different people? That’s even worse than fifty-five identical people!” Steve exclaims.
“I know. Can you help?” SuperDan says.
“I think so. We’ll say you were temporarily insane at the time of the crimes,” Steve suggests.
“Steve, it’s me; no one will believe that,” SuperDan says.
“You’re right. Instead, we’ll say you were temporarily sane at the time of the crimes,” Steve says.