Seen And Heard
Seen above the men’s and women’s restrooms in a funeral parlor:
Hymns and Hearse
In a letter sent home by a piglet at camp:
Hello mudder, Hello fodder
Heard from an aged professor during a history lecture:
Four score and seven years ago, I was a young man.
Heard from a racing queen when asked about the plight of those behind her:
Let them eat my dust.
Heard from a person just fired after requesting an increase in pay:
I got the wrong kind of raze.
Heard from the back of an elevator:
Are we there yet?
Heard in a speech to the parents:
When, in the course of human events, I got a C-minus…
Heard at an inter-cultural appreciation event:
We are all black on the inside – especially those who smoke.
Seen in a book on etiquette:
Hey is for horses, hello is for people. Hi is for stoners.
Heard from a physicist deciding where to go on vacation:
I think of Vegas as a black hole. What goes in Vegas, stays in Vegas.