TLDR:
I think I like you. I am open to discussing the future potential possibility of being romantic, but only if you think you might potentially be interested too. I’d like to get to know you better. We could meet for coffee/ice cream or visit a park/museum.
DISCLAIMER:
You may or may not have a boyfriend and I may or may not have been told this. After taking advice from very many people, I have learned that the word “boyfriend” has multiple meanings and does not always denote committed exclusivity. In any case, I know that relationships are often impermanent and I simply want to inform you of another opportunity should he not work out. If you are engaged, living together, or have kids, I retract this entire note. You should try to make him happy.
I may or may not know your age. I am very bad at guessing and I have been told not to ask a woman her age. People often guess my age wrong. You might think I am too young/old for you. That is up to you. We all have different standards. I only ask that you think deeply about WHY you have the standards you do. I don’t consider it a moral issue and I know it isn’t a legal issue. Public opinion is very divided on the subject, with no consensus, and I have no way of knowing which camp you fall into without asking. If you aren’t interested, just tell me, and I will retract the entire note.
We may or may not already be friends. Most likely, I thought we were friends enough to justify taking the next incremental step toward dating, but we can take things as slow as you want or stop completely (too slow and I might ask someone else). Furthermore, I have learned that asking out complete strangers on dates is a common and socially acceptable means of getting to know someone and potentially becoming friends. If you disagree, I would like to discuss the issues. One issue is a matter of semantics. There are those that think “date” means to expect intercourse that same day. THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN. I merely want to open a discussion.
You might or might not think I have no basis for thinking you are interested. You might or might not be right. I might have misread something you said or did; I make mistakes. Then again, I might have decided to send the first hint myself (this note). If it can be considered improper for me to send this note, it is also improper for you to send hints. For every relationship in all of history, someone made the first move without knowing how it would be taken. I have also been advised that women sometimes play hard to get and have been taught not to initiate. Some teachers go so far as to tell women that any man without the guts to initiate is not a man worth having. I think this goes too far, but I am happy to take the risk if you do not.
Furthermore, I was raised to think of hugs as primarily romantic, and all physical contact is necessarily more intimate than mere words on paper. If you have ever touched me at all – even just a tiny bit – you have already given me permission to speak freely. It’s just words.
This note may or may not be accompanied by a creative work. I do this to make you happy, and to impress you. I am attracted not only to physical beauty, but to talent, common goals, and character, so I suspect you might be the same. Since I know I won’t win any beauty contests, I am utilizing my strengths to show you what I am capable of. You might think the length of this creation shows an unhealthy long-term obsession with you. This is false. I am perfectly capable of throwing together a long note in one afternoon. It means nothing.
If this creative work is about us, you might think that I have formed an elaborate fantasy in my mind detached from reality, thus showing that I cannot be reasoned with. This is very false. I am a fantasy writer, but I know the difference between truth and fiction. Furthermore, if I did not see the future potential of us possibly – after a long period of mutual vetting – getting married and having kids, I would never have approached you in the first place – and any guy that approaches you and hasn’t thought of the potential long-term future (or won’t admit it) is not a guy you want anything to do with anyways.
If, in my creative work, I mention life being short, or “living together in Heaven,” this does not mean I am planning a murder-suicide with you. I am somewhat religious and thus believe in eternal things. They are important to keep in mind to give the proper perspective in this life. If I mention receiving clarity from God, I do not mean I know the future and that we are meant to be together. God does not tell me the future. God might very well have told me to ask you out, but he did not tell me how you should react. You need to pray about it yourself. If I refer to you as “my” friend or “my” coworker, this does not imply a claim of ownership. I don’t believe in owning people. If anything else I write seems a little fishy, you should ask me what I meant instead of making assumptions.
I bring up the issues I do only because these very issues have caused me trouble in the past, including with those I considered very close friends of strong character and good reading comprehension, who had received with joy previous writings of a non-romantic nature, who would be the last people in the world I would suspect might hurt me. I have been betrayed too often. If you aren’t interested, just say so. There is no pressure. There is no threat. There is no reason to involve any other parties – and especially not the corrupt government, who will just as happily turn on you as they would me.
I think I like you. I am open to discussing the future potential possibility of being romantic, but only if you think you might potentially be interested too. I’d like to get to know you better. We could meet for coffee/ice cream or visit a park/museum.
DISCLAIMER:
You may or may not have a boyfriend and I may or may not have been told this. After taking advice from very many people, I have learned that the word “boyfriend” has multiple meanings and does not always denote committed exclusivity. In any case, I know that relationships are often impermanent and I simply want to inform you of another opportunity should he not work out. If you are engaged, living together, or have kids, I retract this entire note. You should try to make him happy.
I may or may not know your age. I am very bad at guessing and I have been told not to ask a woman her age. People often guess my age wrong. You might think I am too young/old for you. That is up to you. We all have different standards. I only ask that you think deeply about WHY you have the standards you do. I don’t consider it a moral issue and I know it isn’t a legal issue. Public opinion is very divided on the subject, with no consensus, and I have no way of knowing which camp you fall into without asking. If you aren’t interested, just tell me, and I will retract the entire note.
We may or may not already be friends. Most likely, I thought we were friends enough to justify taking the next incremental step toward dating, but we can take things as slow as you want or stop completely (too slow and I might ask someone else). Furthermore, I have learned that asking out complete strangers on dates is a common and socially acceptable means of getting to know someone and potentially becoming friends. If you disagree, I would like to discuss the issues. One issue is a matter of semantics. There are those that think “date” means to expect intercourse that same day. THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN. I merely want to open a discussion.
You might or might not think I have no basis for thinking you are interested. You might or might not be right. I might have misread something you said or did; I make mistakes. Then again, I might have decided to send the first hint myself (this note). If it can be considered improper for me to send this note, it is also improper for you to send hints. For every relationship in all of history, someone made the first move without knowing how it would be taken. I have also been advised that women sometimes play hard to get and have been taught not to initiate. Some teachers go so far as to tell women that any man without the guts to initiate is not a man worth having. I think this goes too far, but I am happy to take the risk if you do not.
Furthermore, I was raised to think of hugs as primarily romantic, and all physical contact is necessarily more intimate than mere words on paper. If you have ever touched me at all – even just a tiny bit – you have already given me permission to speak freely. It’s just words.
This note may or may not be accompanied by a creative work. I do this to make you happy, and to impress you. I am attracted not only to physical beauty, but to talent, common goals, and character, so I suspect you might be the same. Since I know I won’t win any beauty contests, I am utilizing my strengths to show you what I am capable of. You might think the length of this creation shows an unhealthy long-term obsession with you. This is false. I am perfectly capable of throwing together a long note in one afternoon. It means nothing.
If this creative work is about us, you might think that I have formed an elaborate fantasy in my mind detached from reality, thus showing that I cannot be reasoned with. This is very false. I am a fantasy writer, but I know the difference between truth and fiction. Furthermore, if I did not see the future potential of us possibly – after a long period of mutual vetting – getting married and having kids, I would never have approached you in the first place – and any guy that approaches you and hasn’t thought of the potential long-term future (or won’t admit it) is not a guy you want anything to do with anyways.
If, in my creative work, I mention life being short, or “living together in Heaven,” this does not mean I am planning a murder-suicide with you. I am somewhat religious and thus believe in eternal things. They are important to keep in mind to give the proper perspective in this life. If I mention receiving clarity from God, I do not mean I know the future and that we are meant to be together. God does not tell me the future. God might very well have told me to ask you out, but he did not tell me how you should react. You need to pray about it yourself. If I refer to you as “my” friend or “my” coworker, this does not imply a claim of ownership. I don’t believe in owning people. If anything else I write seems a little fishy, you should ask me what I meant instead of making assumptions.
I bring up the issues I do only because these very issues have caused me trouble in the past, including with those I considered very close friends of strong character and good reading comprehension, who had received with joy previous writings of a non-romantic nature, who would be the last people in the world I would suspect might hurt me. I have been betrayed too often. If you aren’t interested, just say so. There is no pressure. There is no threat. There is no reason to involve any other parties – and especially not the corrupt government, who will just as happily turn on you as they would me.